Valentine's Day Hell
by KidRoxasPikachuHikaru
Summary: Everyone in the group hates Valentine's Day. So to make it less god awful, they decide to secretly fuck with each others lives. OCD injections, death hugs, transforming kitties, and lockers with mountains of candy in them.
1. Chapter 1

Day One

Kid: Well here it is, a fanfic for one of the worst holidays of the year

Roxas: Its all about Halloween

Pikachu: Yeah Valentines sucks

Hikaru: Halloween could own Valentines ass

Kid: A little graphic but OKAY!

At Kid's House

It was a week before Valentine's Day and all through Kid's house not a creature was quiet not even, the mouse.

"DAMNIT WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO PREVENT VALENTINES!" yelled Kid slamming his fist on the table. Everyone was in the conference room of Kid's house or as Kid called it, The Operation Room. Kid was at the front of the table yelling at everyone even though it was supposed to have a calm atmosphere. Everyone else was surprisingly as mad as Kid. Valentine's Day to them was the harbinger of Hell on Earth.

"Maybe if we go out and destroy all the candy?" asked Hikaru

"That could work but there are people who would just write notes" replied Roxas

"We could just barricade the doors until Valentine's Day it over" said Pikachu

Everyone nodded at Pikachu's idea. Of course if someone broke the window it would be like Black Ops Zombies. So it was official before Valentine's Day everyone would barricade their doors. It would not have a chance of failing. (Kid: You know its going to).

Kid's View

Kid was walking the streets of Death City, which was surprisingly celebrating Valentine's Day. The very thought of it disgusted him. He was going to vent his anger out on some people most likely. But who though. He snapped his fingers. Black Star would be perfect to make fun of. But how though?

Pikachu's View

Pikachu was holding a syringe filled with an OCD gene. He didn't know what the hell it would do but it would seem fun to fuck with people. His first guinea pig would be Roxas. He saw her walking down the streets and randomly ran up to her and injected the OCD. Roxas screamed some pissed out shit at Pikachu but he ran away too fast. Pikachu was so happy shit was going to go wrong with that and he was going to find out how it would happen.

Kid: Okay since shit is going to happen im not gonna continue it until I see people guessing what was in that syringe

Pikachu: I don't even know nor does Kid

Kid: Shut up you BETRAYFUL –

Roxas and Hikaru: *smack Kid with shovels*

Hikaru: REVIEW SO THAT IT CAN CONTINUE!


	2. Chapter 2

Day Two

Kid: *yawns*

Hikaru: Whats wrong with Kid?

Pikachu: He stayed up all night watching anime

Roxas: Oh I thought it was serious

Hikaru: *jumps on Roxas' head and plays with hair*

Roxas: DAMN IT

At Kid's House

Once again they were in the operation room. The reason why? People had figured out the plan and had sent candy early. It happened to all of them, when they had opened their lockers candy had rushed out like an avalanche.

"Since we cant do this on our own I have brought in an expert at avoiding Valentine's Day" said Kid

Kyo Sohma stepped out of the shadows of the operation room. He was an expert at avoiding Valentine's chocolate.

"Okay so you need my help" he said "The trick is to run away for a couple of days so no one can send you chocolate"

Everyone nodded, they didn't doubt his advice. The next thing that happened can only be explained as Kagura breaking through the steel door of the operation room and giving Kyo a death hug. Kyo started to turn blue and everyone knew they had to do something. Kid saw Pikachu and pushed him towards Kagura. A giant puff of smoke appeared when Pikachu came in contact with Kagura. Kagura had transformed into her boar form. Kyo ran out of the door and left Kid's house. Kagura yelled at Kid because he stopped her from loving Kyo. Hikaru remembered that Kagura could transform at anytime so she whispered this information to Roxas and they silently left the room. Kid didn't notice them leaving the room. In two seconds Kagura had transformed again standing naked in front of Kid and Pikachu. Kid and Pikachu screamed and ran out the door.

"HAHAHA" laughed Roxas "YOU FORGOT THEY TRANSFORMED AT DIFFERENT TIMES"

"SHUT UP" said Kid and Roxas with perfect unison as they punched Hikaru and Roxas on the head

"Owwww" said Hikaru while rubbing her head

Just then Roxas got the sudden urge to make things asymmetrical. She ran straight to the DWMA while holding a giant hammer. Pikachu secretly bit his nails. This was bad, he didn't know that the injection was asymmetrical OCD.

Kid summoned his sword and jumped on the blade. The sword floated in the air and Kid flew after Roxas. Hikaru summoned two giant squirrels, one for her and one for Pikachu. They flew after Kid towards the academy.

At The DWMA

Roxas had started to break the spikes on the academy. Kid grabbed a random heart shaped box and threw it at Roxas' head. It made direct impact with her head and she came crashing down. Everyone took a step back as Roxas crashed right in the center of the triangle the other three formed. Hikaru dragged Roxas back to Kid's house and threw her in Kid's dungeon.

Kid knew Pikachu was behind all this so he decided to screw with his life too. Things were going to be hell for the next few days.

Kid: Damn to me that was suspenseful

Roxas: But you know whats going to happen though

Hikaru and Pikachu: REVIEW also we decided to stop the conversation early =3


	3. Chapter 3

Day Three

Kid: NOOO I MISSED DAYS

Roxas: Whats he going on about?

Pikachu: He forgot to upload like every chapter

Hikaru: Uh oh

Kid: I WILL ADD ALL OF THEM IN ONE DAY!

At Kid's House

Pikachu and Kid were laughing their asses off when Roxas was in Kid's dungeon. She couldn't find anything to make asymmetrical so she was freaking out. To Kid and Pikachu it was better than watching anime or voting for Democrats. Hikaru on the other hand was pissed at Pikachu for injecting Roxas with that OCD. She was pretty sure that it would be easier to take her anger out on Kid. She was just trying to figure out how. She got it; she would let everyone know one of Kid's most embarrassing fears. Of course she was going to have to find one.

"Anyone else notice that Death the Kid hasn't found me and tried to kill me yet?" asked Roxas thinking back to what she did to the DWMA

"Does it really matter?" asked Pikachu

"Your right" replied Roxas

"Hey what happened to my flying squirrels?" asked Hikaru

"Over in Russia training for the war against regular squirrels" said Kid

"Wow" replied Hikaru

Everyone stayed at Kid's house for a bit and Pikachu even got death hugged by Blair again. Kid would have to paint that wall back to white because Blair gave Pikachu a giant nosebleed that covered half the wall. At last people started going home. Pikachu was the first one to leave at around 6:30 PM.

"Pikachu you're going to be messed with so hard" said Kid

Pikachu just ignored him and walked to his house. Kid had somehow already setup a trap at his front door. Pikachu walked through his front door and was attacked by a dress oddly enough. The dress slipped onto Pikachu easily.

"PIKACHU IN PRETTY PINK!" said Kid, Roxas, and Hikaru

They laughed their asses off for a couple hours. Kid even punctured a lung and had to be taken to the doctor. Roxas and Hikaru laughed more when Kid punctured his lung. Hikaru thought back to her plan.

Hikaru knew she had to strike soon. She remembered one thing she had heard Kid say. It was, "God damn elephants taking my peanuts all the time". Now all Hikaru had to do was embarrass him. Soon the eggs would hatch and Hikaru would laugh even more than she was now. The question once again was how.

Kid: Sorry for short chapter kinda under the weather

Roxas: It was short

Hikaru: I want to see more

Pikachu: NO MORE SHORT CHAPTERS

Kid: Wow REVIEW


	4. Chapter 4

Day Four

Kid: God damn headache

Pikachu: Take some Tylenol or whatever works for headaches

Roxas: He doesn't like taking pills

Hikaru: BE A MAN AND TAKE A GOD DAMN TYLENOL OR ADVIL

Kid: HEADACHES!

At Random McDonalds

Kid had been stalking Black Star for sometime now and decided today was the day he was going to strike. He had brought a couple cans of pink spray paint and some glue. He had followed Black Star around to McDonalds. It was the only chance he would get.

"KAMIKAZE!" yelled Kid while spraying Black Star with spray paint

"HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO THE ALMIGHTY BLACK STAR" yelled Black Star

Kid decided to glue Black Star's mouth shut. It was nice to have some quiet for once. Kid ran away yelling like an Arab (Kid: I am sorry if I insult anyone) while holding a spray paint can in both hands.

Hikaru saw Kid coming and tripped him. He went flying for about 20 yards. Kid was knocked out when Hikaru walked over to him so she decided to kick him in the ribs except this time making it a little funnier.

"STARLIGHT KICK!" yelled Hikaru as she kicked Kid awake

Kid was just about to get up when a random box of chocolates attacked him. He turned around and saw a giant avalanche of chocolate boxes coming towards Kid. Pikachu was on top of the avalanche laughing like crazy.

Apparently this was Pikachu's form of revenge. They didn't see how it was really effective besides the fact they could get a couple of broken bones.

Kid grabbed his sword and sent a gust of wind towards Pikachu causing him to fly against a building.

"Damn you Kid" said Pikachu

Kid just shrugged as he disposed of the evidence of him spray painting Black Star.

Hikaru pulled out a button and pressed it. The suddenly a bunch of giant cages opened up and elephants came out of them. Hikaru gave Kid a bag of peanuts and ran like hell.

"HAVE FUN!" yelled Hikaru as she ran and laughed

Kid ran faster than he ever ran before (approximately 5mph). He didn't even stop to join some random game of chess. Eventually he came to a brick wall, Kid's natural enemy. Kid saw the elephants running towards him and thought that he was screwed big time. Then he saw the bag of peanuts in his hand. He threw the bag over the elephant's heads and prayed to God that they would turn around. Lucky for Kid, they did not even wasting a second to do so.

Kid couldn't believe what the hell was happening just because of one OCD injection. If it were two it would be understandable, but one! He knew that shit was gonna go down in the next few days. He walked home not noticing the sounds of gun fire coming from giant flying and regular squirrels attacking each other.

Kid: Damn this fever

Pikachu: Dude your turning white

Roxas: I think he is always white Pikachu

Hikaru: Not that white though

Kid: *sneezes*

Pikachu: Bless you REVIEW!


	5. Chapter 5

Day Five

Kid: DON'T YOU DIE ONE MEE!

Roxas: Introducing a temporary new addition to our group

Hikaru: *pulls rope and curtains pull up*

Pikachu: JOHNDEER!

Kid: *slaps Johndeer's unconscious face*

Roxas: God damn those penguins

Hikaru: Oh yeah this is a special chapter just for Pikachu

At a Random Candy Store

Pikachu had gotten a new job at a candy store. He chose a pretty good time because people always bought a huge load of chocolate near Valentine's Day but for some reason no one was coming. He wasn't going to get paid much at the end of the month.

Pikachu went outside of the store and looked at the sign. The sign originally said, WE HAVE FUDGE. But someone made it say, WE HAVE FUDGE FILLED DIAPERS.

Pikachu's eyes twitched as he read the sign. No wonder people stopped coming they were being repulsed by the idea of dirty diapers!

Pikachu destroyed the sign and as soon as he did, a giant crowd rushed into the store. Pikachu had a hard time dealing with all the customers that he was pretty sure he had gotten mugged during the rush. Pikachu counted how much money he had made. After about 3 minutes of counting money Pikachu had come made $13,341 just from selling candy.

Pikachu looked outside the window to see if anyone was coming. The only thing he saw was Johndeer running really fast with antlers on his head. Two seconds later he was hit by an eighteen wheeler.

Pikachu just shrugged it off he had seen worse things. Pikachu sat there for about an hour until one more person finally came in.

"Hello welcome to the candy store" said Pikachu while not looking up from a book

"Hello cutie" said a voice Pikachu instantly recognized

"BLAIR!?" Pikachu yelled as he saw Blair walk in

Blair tried to death hug Pikachu but he used a riot shield he had bought for an incident just like this. He shoved the riot shield forward and forward until he got to the door. Blair thought it was a game and she decided to turn into a cat.

When Blair was in cat form she jumped over the riot shield and landed on Pikachu's face. She turned back into a human and death hugged Pikachu into the bottomless abyss that was her breasts. Pikachu started turning blue after a little while so Blair decided to free him.

Pikachu gasped for air while trying to suck up the nosebleed he had just gotten. As soon as Pikachu remembered that Blair was still there he ran away as fast as hell. Blair tried to chase after him but he had vanished into the world. Never to be seen again by common peoOH MY GOD HE GOT HIT BY A CAR.

Kid: Well since Johndeer is dead I can move on to more serious business

Pikachu: Like what

Kid: You and Hikaru said I was too soft on Roxas so Im gonna inflict pain on her

Hikaru: This should be interesting

Roxas: Bitch please

Kid *Rubs Kingdom Hearts 3D in Roxas's face*

Hikaru: That's not pain Review!


	6. Chapter 6

Day Six

Pikachu: So much money

Kid: Grr

Roxas: Whats his problem

Pikachu: He has to do whatever I say for $2000

Hikaru: Nice

At Kid's House

Outside Kid's house was an interesting scene. Well not really interesting since it happens all the time. Yuki and Kyo were fighting again really close to Kid's window. Kid was prepared for this and had a fire extinguisher at hand. Yukie eventually punched Kyo so hard that he sent him flying through Kid's window. Kid used the fire extinguisher to send Kyo back out the window.

"So Kid how come you called me over here?" asked Pikachu

"We are going to mess with Hikaru and Roxas" replied Kid handing over two manuscripts over to Pikachu

"Kid this looks like"

"Yeah its yaoi" Kid said before Pikachu could finish his sentence

Yaoi is the writing of man on man fiction that can also be used as torture. Kid had taken a year to finally perfect the art so that one day he could torture people. And those people were Hikaru and Roxas. Kid explained the plan to Pikachu every detail even describing parts of the yaoi. Pikachu agreed with the plans after how Hikaru got away with every prank.

At Hikaru's House

Hikaru and Roxas were hanging out at Hikaru's house watching anime. Kid and Pikachu waited outside for about five minutes trying to decide when to kidnap the both of them. Kid finally just broke a window and drugged Hikaru and Roxas. Pikachu got some rope and a chair and tied both of the girls to a individual chair. After the two woke up Kid instantly had Pikachu keeps Roxas's eyes open while he showed her the yaoi. She just lokoed at it but didn't read it. Kid taped Roxas's mouth shut and started to read the yaoi. She tried to scream but tape muffled her sounds. Hikaru just shuddered while the yaoi was being read.

"KID YOU SICK BASTARD" Roxas yelled while trying to get the sound not so muffled by tape

"OH GOD KID MAKE IT STOP" yelled Hikaru while trying to break the rope

Kid handed the yaoi off to Pikachu and then he started listening to music while Pikachu continued to torment the victims. Kid zoned out big time because by the time he had listened to every song on his Ipod everyone was gone. He wondered where everyone was especially Hikaru since it was her house.

Kid grabbed his sword and ran outside. He rode the sword like a broom and flew around town. He couldn't find anyone of the three stooges. Then he saw the three entering an insane asylum. Kid rode down to the ground only to crash. He got up and asked the three why they were here.

"Your yaoi made us insane" said Hikaru while twitching and then the three walked into the asylum only to be chased out by Batman. Anyone get the reference?

Kid: *Runs around crowded parking lot naked*

Hikaru: OH GOD WHATS HE DOING

Pikachu: You will see soon enough

Kid: HELP I JUST ESCAPED FROM MICHAEL JACKSONS BASEMENT!

Roxas: XD REVIEW!


End file.
